What to say in confession: the words, from start to finish

What to say in confession, at a glance

What to say in confession fits on a small card, and you are allowed to bring one. The Church asks three things of you in the sacrament: sorrow for your sins, the confession of them to the priest, and the willingness to make amends (CCC 1491). Your words only need to express those three things. The priest does the rest: he welcomes you, helps you if you get stuck, gives you a penance, and absolves you in the name of Christ. These are the lines you say, in order.

1. With the priest, the sign of the cross: “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
2. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [three months / two years / I am not sure how long] since my last confession.”
3. Your sins, one by one: what you did, and roughly how many times.
4. “For these and all the sins of my past life, I am sorry.” Or simply: “That is all, Father.”
5. After the priest’s counsel and penance, an act of contrition, when he asks for it.
6. “Amen,” when he finishes the prayer of absolution.

How to start: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned”

When you go in, the priest may greet you, and you make the sign of the cross together. He may say a short prayer inviting you to trust in God’s mercy, to which you answer “Amen,” and he may read a line of Scripture (CCC 1480). Then it is your turn. The traditional opening is “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.” It asks for his blessing and says plainly why you have come.

Next, say how long it has been since your last confession: “It has been about a month,” or “It has been many years; I do not remember exactly.” An honest guess is enough. The priest asks because it helps him understand what you bring. You may also add one or two facts that help him counsel you well, if they matter to what you will confess: that you are married, that this is your first confession as an adult, or that you have been away from the Church for a long time.

How to say your sins: what, and how many times

Confess every mortal sin you remember after an honest examination of conscience, naming its kind and its number (CCC 1456; canon 988). The kind is what you did, in plain words: “I lied to my spouse,” “I missed Mass on Sunday without a serious reason.” The number is how many times, or roughly how often: “about five times,” “most weeks for a year.” Add a circumstance only when it changes what the sin is, such as being married, which makes an affair adultery. The rest of the story can stay outside.

Confessing venial sins, the everyday faults, is not required, but the Church warmly recommends it, because it forms the conscience and helps you grow (CCC 1458). Choose the few that matter most, especially habits you want to break. If you are unsure whether a sin was mortal or venial, do not try to settle it alone: say it, and add, “I am not sure how serious this was.” Our guides to mortal sin and the sins to confess can help you prepare.

Some things do not belong in a confession. Leave out other people’s names and other people’s sins. Skip long explanations and excuses: the priest may ask a question if he needs to understand, and you can simply answer it. A temptation you resisted is not a sin to confess. And sins already confessed and absolved are forgiven; you do not need to bring them back.

How to say something embarrassing

Say it in one plain sentence, with the number, and stop. The sin you most dread saying is often the one most worth saying, and it is almost always shorter out loud than it was in your head. You do not need graphic details. For sins against chastity, the classic words are enough: “I committed impure acts alone, about ten times,” or “I had sexual relations outside marriage, three times.” If the priest needs to know more, he will ask, gently, and you answer simply.

It can help to warn him first: “Father, this is hard for me to say,” or “There is something I have never confessed.” Then say it. Remember who is listening: a priest bound by the seal, who may never reveal or use anything you confess, for any reason (CCC 1467), and who has heard it all before. The Church puts it in a doctor’s image: if the patient is too ashamed to show the wound, “the medicine cannot heal what it does not know” (CCC 1456). Showing the wound is how it heals.

How to finish: the penance, the act of contrition and the absolution

When you have finished, say so: “For these and all the sins of my past life, I am sorry,” or simply, “That is all, Father.” The priest may offer a few words of counsel, then give you a penance: usually some prayers or a good act, chosen to help repair the harm of sin and to heal you (CCC 1459–1460). Listen for it. If you did not catch it, ask: “Sorry, Father, could you repeat that?” If you cannot do it, say so, and he will give you another. He will not mind.

Then he invites you to express your sorrow. Pray an act of contrition aloud: the traditional prayer below, another form you know, or honest words of your own. What matters is sorrow for your sins and the resolve, with God’s help, not to sin again (CCC 1451).

Last comes the absolution. The priest extends his hand over you and prays that God, the Father of mercies, who reconciled the world to himself through the death and resurrection of his Son and sent the Holy Spirit for the forgiveness of sins, may grant you pardon and peace through the ministry of the Church. He ends: “I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” (CCC 1449). You answer “Amen.” He may add a line of praise, such as “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good” (Psalm 136 (135):1), and send you off in peace. Your sins are forgiven.

What if I freeze, forget a sin or get the words wrong?

If your mind goes blank, say so: “Father, I am nervous and I have forgotten what I wanted to say.” He can ask you a few questions or take you gently through the commandments. Better still, bring a short list, on paper or on your phone, and read from it; many people do, and priests expect it. Destroy the paper afterwards, or delete the note, so your sins stay between you and God.

If you forget a sin, do not worry. A sin forgotten in good faith is forgiven along with the others, and you leave in God’s grace, free to receive Communion. If you later remember a mortal sin you left out, simply mention it at your next confession: “Since my last confession, I remembered a sin I forgot to confess.” Knowingly hiding a mortal sin is different, so if fear is holding something back, tell the priest that you are afraid, and let him help you say it.

Getting the words wrong does not undo the sacrament. If you lose your place in the act of contrition, read it from a card, or say, “My God, I am sorry for all my sins; help me not to sin again.” The priest can also lead you line by line. God is not checking your grammar; he is looking at your heart, and he is already running to meet you, like the father of the prodigal son.

Sources

Cited by paragraph and verse, so you can read them in full. In the end, your priest has the final word.

• –Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1449
• –Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1451–1460
• –Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1467
• –Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1480
• –Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1491
• –1 John 1:9
• –Psalm 136 (135):1
• –Luke 15:11–32 (the prodigal son)
• –Code of Canon Law, canons 959–991 (kind and number, canon 988; the seal, canon 983)

Confession Compass is an independent educational tool, not an official body of the Catholic Church. It never absolves sins: only a priest, in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, can absolve.